Try Not to Die(t)


The problem isn’t that people eat meat or that we eat sugar or that we eat lots of carbohydrates. The problem is that we don’t do as much as our distant ancestors did, so the calories pile up quickly. Groceries can be costly, but for twenty dollars I’ll bet you can buy more calories, fat, sugar, and salt than the average Stone Age person saw in a week. Try that diet and see if you see results, and, by the way, run everywhere you go, climb trees, and fend off hungry carnivores along the way. That’s the REAL Paleo diet!

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Polar Vortex

Polar Vortex. Just the sound of those words is ominous and chilling. The weather people of Europe and North America say we have one coming soon and that it’s going to get cold-er just about everywhere north of Louisana. Really cold! I used to love cold weather, but I’m not so certain anymore. I spent lots of time outdoors as a kid and during my Army years and a lot of that time was in some really cold places. I may have used up my winter immunity allotment. Polar Vortex coming? I see a spike in my electric bill coming!

Happy Birthday

Why do we keep track of age? I get the milestones like 16- license to drive or 18- casting that first vote, and especially 21 when we can legally drink alcohol. After that, I get confused as to the purpose of tracking birthdays. Age becomes a discriminating factor at some point so why advertise it? My final thought is this, when do we stop counting the years up and begin counting them down? I, for one, would rather pass unnoticed and undated when my time comes. They’ll say something like, “he sure was a good boy while we had him”.

Snow Day


How I prayed for snow days as a kid. Growing up in rural eastern Iowa during the seventies and eighties, we had no shortage of snow, but we had surprisingly few snow days. Breaking ice on the water trough and refilling it for our livestock was one of my chores. I would also hose down the area where the school bus turned around in hopes of creating a spot so slick that no bus could hope to exit. It never worked! Nothing fazed our driver and we had snow drifts measured in feet, not inches. Uphill both ways didn’t matter.

Red Carpet


The day after the event, I took a few moments to scroll through some of the red carpet photos from the Golden Globe awards ceremony. I saw lots and lots of glamorous photos of Hollywood’s elite and I recognized only a handful of them. I don’t know if it’s just that I don’t care, maybe I’m too busy to keep up or maybe I just don’t watch enough television, but they were mostly unfamiliar names and faces and most of them seemed awfully young. Isn’t there an age requirement for stardom? Red carpet- for those stars age 30 and up!

Saturdays


I’m about to enter an existential funk. College football season is nearly over so I’ll now have to start doing chores again on Saturdays. Just why I love watching the games so much is a question that I cannot answer. I never played football, not even flag. I failed to grow any taller after reaching the five foot-seven mark and never made it past 175 pounds until I was in my late 40s and I didn’t want to get creamed so those are my reasons. I guess I can finally get after all those fallen leaves and clean the gutters.

In Sickness and In Health

Have you noticed how quickly an illness can spread in a household or workplace? I’m betting that you have because you have almost certainly been a victim of this or the one who got it started. I experienced this recently and tried a home remedy. The recommended treatment consisted of a spoonful of honey, topped with a dollop of raw garlic paste, and covered with a thick layer of cayenne pepper. It tasted awful going down, like most medications, and burned slightly, but I feel better now. It was a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease! J�